A Life Without Filters

FILTER/ˈfɪltə/

noun noun: filter; plural noun: filters

1. a porous device for removing impurities or solid particles from a liquid or gas passed through it.

Phrases

have no filter — have a tendency to say exactly what one is thinking without considering the consequences."I have no filter and I do say things that I probably shouldn't say"

Origin

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What is a filter? To explain scientifically, it’s a semi-permeable device that allows certain matter to go forth and certain matter (usually impurities) to get collected in order to finally have a pure version of the matter made to pass through the device [the only thing you remembered from the sentence was ‘matter’ right?].

To explain it in layman terms, a filter is the bouncer of the club: it makes sure that no one underage or creepy gets to enter the club and turn the place upside down.

There’s also the use of the word in a turn of phrase – “having no filter” – essentially trying to say that the person speaks unabashedly, often saying things they shouldn’t have said.

Which brings the notion into the question that there exist societal, conventional norms as to what speech is ‘correct’. There exists a right and wrong and the ‘filter’ removes the wrong parts of your speech and makes you say things the right way so that you don’t offend anyone.

Hence we, as a society, came up with most important advice of all times: “Think before you speak”

But why?

Why must I think, correct and filter my thoughts before I speak them out loud? Why must I hesitate to tell the truth, even if it hurts? Why must I be diplomatic and neutral and try to fit in by never ending up saying something I shouldn’t have? Why must I stick by these unwritten rules and follow them in the fear of being ostracized?

Why am I living in the constant fear of saying something wrong and destroying the image I’ve spent my entire life building?

Who decided what’s right and what’s wrong? Who decided that commenting on ‘xyz’ was incorrect and how you’re supposed to feel when someone makes a nasty comment on you?

WHO MADE THESE RULES?!

God, sometimes I wish for a world where we could speak without these filters, unabashedly, honestly, truthfully. Like all those reels and YT shorts I see on my feed that say “if everyone spoke what they really meant” – imagine a world like that.

A world where I could go around and tell someone that “oh, I really don’t want to be in your company today because I’m really not in the frame of mind for engaging in small talk and conversations with you out of politeness” instead of slapping a smile on my face and engaging into a conversation begrudgingly.

A world where I could tell someone that I don’t like them and they accept that with a nod and move on in life.

A world where I could say no and not be afraid of the consequences.

A world where everyone is strong enough to take the truth, accept it and continue on because its not the end of the world if someone said that if they switched off the lights, I’d disappear (cause I’m dark skinned).

I believe the reason that we filter is due to insecurities. If I wasn’t insecure, maybe I wouldn’t feel shitty when someone called me a pencil, or looked at my skin colour and hair and said, “oh my god, if you colour your hair green, you’d literally be a tree”.

Insecurities often take control on how you perceive the world and how you feel the world perceives you. It defines your reactions to statements and what you consider an insult and a light-hearted joke.

And this just doesn’t work for ‘speech-filters’. Think of the filters you use to brighten up a photo or hide your face behind on social media.

What’s wrong with the actual photo? What would possibly go wrong if you posted it just the way you clicked it? Why do you need to change it? Modify it? Rectify it?

Honestly, reality is not as harsh as we make it. We’re pretty over-dramatic people and we are inevitably going to make something far bigger than it already is. Which is why, trust me when I say, reality is simple and our filtering just makes it far more difficult to comprehend and manoeuvre through.

You want a taste of life without filters? Have a conversation with a child. Zero experience about life, zero clue about what’s right and what’s wrong. They craft their understanding of the world based on things they see before them or how they feel.

There’s this joke I heard when I was younger: A mother and her young son come across a pregnant woman and her pot-bellied husband. The son takes a look at the pregnant woman’s belly and asked out loud why is she so fat. The pregnant woman kindly laughs and replies that her stomach actually holds a small baby that would grow up and become like him. The young boy is bewildered and excited at this new information and turns to her husband and says, “Wow! So, you and uncle are carrying babies in there?”

There are usually two reactions to this situation: the husband laughs it off or the husband is highly embarrassed and scolds the mother for not teaching her son any manners.

As a society, we’d have been highly offended by the second reaction and yelled “He’s just a child, he doesn’t know any better!” and scold the husband’s ego and chastise him for his stupid reaction.

The child’s simplistic understanding of life and unabashed way of speaking was so easily let off the hook. And if you look at the latter cited reaction and reconsider the argument I’d made earlier, you’d realise, we decided the norm of speech purely based on insecurities every human has about themselves.

And its not wrong, to consider and be respectful of these insecurities. Not everyone shares them or understands them, therefore it is important to never assume someone’s troubles and the way they would react to anything being said about the same. In order to not inadvertently hurt someone, the society slowly and gradually introduced filters that became the socially accepted way of speech that everyone needs to follow in order to not offend anyone.

So, at the end of the day, the filters exist as a medium of respect – in order to not assume, judge, or incorrectly assess the way people process their emotions. Because emotions can’t be controlled, ever. And everyone experiences emotions differently.

Maybe in a utopian world wherever everyone is secure and confident and able to successfully modulate their emotions, the need for filters wouldn’t exist. But in this world, full of its greyness and complexity, the need presents itself and hence, the dream of a life without filters remains to be just that – a dream.